What Is Your Perspective – Is What You See Truth or Your illusion?
Reality is seen so differently by each and every one of us. One situation can vary drastically based on the way that it is seen and that’s because of the lens in which we view each and every interaction. We all have a lens that different and unique. Your lens is shaped by all of the experiences that comprise your world -your struggles, your successes, your fears -all of which are judgements. I’m curious what is it that you WANT to see in your reality? That can be a hard question. Often we know what we don’t want, but we don’t spend much time thinking about what we do want.
Let’s try to start to looking at the world exactly how it is - Not what we expect or what we don’t want, but what is it at this precise moment, without a filter, without our judgement. The more we allow our judgements in, the more we begin to interpret our world instead of viewing it for what it is. When you interpret something, you create an perspective about a particular situation. Basically, you create an explanation or a story around a your situation and then look for evidence to support its validity. If you think things are not going to work out, they won’t because all you will see are obstacles and not opportunities. When you make an interpretation, you don’t even see that other explanations exist. When we make interpretations, we are limiting our ability to see what’s possible.
You can become very attached to the story you’ve created, which in turn, has a strong impact on your emotions and actions. If you believe your viewpoint of a particular situation is the only explanation, you’re not open to another point of view. You may end up wasting a lot of time and energy focused on the wrong things. Because you don’t see that other possibilities exist, you remain stuck in your story, and feel like you have no control over the outcome. What often happens is our interpretations are catabolic, or draining. They are the result of a prior incident gone wrong, and then our expectation, through our lens, would be that this new situation is going to go wrong, as well… A self-fulfilling prophecy.
So let’s say you are at a networking event, and you really want to talk to the VP of Sales about a new sales strategy. You see her talking to a few others, engaging in what looks like a great conversation. You decide to grab a drink and then head over to pitch your plan. When you get there the VP seems distracted, almost annoyed at your conversation and then excuses herself, apologizing that she is running late.
Interpretations are deeply personal and are somewhat difficult to let go of and challenge. Holding onto them is easy. It’s natural not to want to part with something you’ve spent so much time creating and identifying with. Once you give your story away, what’s left? It’s scary to let go of all of your preconceived notions…like that jerk that just cut you off in traffic only cares about himself, and doesn’t value your life. That’s the story you created, but maybe just maybe, you were in his blind spot and he didn’t see you. Or even simpler, he made a mistake…something that you’re not immune to. Facing your interpretations or judgments is hard. If forces us into the unknown. The unknown is scary. If you can just hold on and push thru that fear, guess what- you can start to see what you actually want to see!
Let’s go back to your networking meeting. You’re standing there thinking – Wow I can’t believe how dismissive she was to me. She wasn’t even pretending to listen to me. I’ve given this job 10 years of my life, and I can’t even get her to hear me out! Why am I even here if they don’t care to hear what would really boost our sales. They always talk about collaboration and growth. Here I am trying to share something that would bring in tons of revenue and she’s too good to even speak to me. As you are lamenting in your thoughts, your boss comes over and tells you that the VP wants to meet with you next week. Unfortunately, she got a text that her mom fell in the nursing home and needs to have emergency surgery on her hip. Imagine how much better you’d feel knowing that it wasn’t you, but you’d feel even better in life if you didn’t have to think the worst if the first place! Instead of validating what you don’t want, focus on what you want to see, and when you notice yourself making judgements or creating stories, know that at that precise moment, you have an opportunity to choose.
Just realizing that there are other ways to look at something lessens the power of your interpretation. Start to be curious and ask yourself what could be another way to look at this situation. You might even find that if you ask someone else detached from the situation, for their thoughts, it may offer you a new perspective as well. Imagine how many opportunities you’ve missed out on – relationships, promotions, career changes- because you were stuck in your story. Imagine in the story above, if when your boss walked over and you blurted out that I’ve had enough and I quit. You would have missed your big break and not have known.
This week, pay attention to how many times you start creating a story. Consider why you’ve created that story. Does that align with your view of how you want to see the world – how you want to see yourself? Pivot and ask yourself how can you see the joy and the opportunity in the moment? What are you really seeing without your filter?
Remember you get precisely what you look to see! If you are tired of stories and want to see life for what it actually is, contact me and let’s chat.