I've Changed
Sometimes I sit back and think about the person I was, and I’m so thankful for growth. Who I am today is not who I was 2 years ago or 10 years ago. One of the gifts we have in this life, if we chose to honor it, is growth. I grew up following the rules, getting good grades, and still never feeling good enough or worthy of. Today, I still try to color in the lines, but if my design is beautiful outside of the lines, I’m going to create what is right for me.
I no longer am controlled by the rules. I’m no longer controlled by conforming, or any other thing I should do. I should doesn’t exist anymore. I choose to is my new motto. I choose to life abundantly. I choose to live out my authentic intentions. I choose to have meaningful relationships with people. I choose to be free – free from caring about what others think of me. What matters is what I think of me. If I’m showing up authentically to people who are honest and open, they can see me for me. I’m not here to prove myself to those who can’t see because they lack the ability if they are stuck in catabolic energy. Catabolic energy is draining and removes so much of their freedom to see.
When people are in catabolic energy, they don’t see past their story. They can’t see that there are options, other than being at the effect of life. Everything happens to them and they can’t help it. They are often defensive, angered, and guarded. When I was there, stuck in catabolic energy, everything that happened- happened to me. If someone pointed out an inflection point for my growth, it was an attack. I’m no longer living in that space, and to be honest, it’s so far gone that it’s hard to recall. My live centers around growth-mindset. I ask for feedback regularly, from my friends, from my colleagues. I want to know how people experience me. I’m not so curious about do you like me, because in actuality, that doesn’t concern me, but is your experience of me in alignment with what my intentions are? If I’m being authentic and living the holistic lifestyle that I strive for, I can’t guarantee that you will like me, but I do want to show up in a way that honors who I am in the most loving way possible. Am I perfect, no. No one is, but when you have a growth mindset, you continually reflect and challenge yourself to grow, and go deeper.
The journey to a balanced mindset is an internal shift. And it is a journey- there are ebbs and flows. We may feel some regression and setbacks, but the truth is, we are where we are in this very moment. Honor it, because it’s all for our growth. Sometimes what we perceive as a setback is simply an opportunity that we need to go deeper. The external demands of the world may never be balanced, but the goal is to be balanced in the midst of all of the chaos. Internal reactions, our approach to situations are all based on energy. It’s based on the fact that we have options. We can be the victim, we can tolerate, we can be of service, we can create opportunity, and we can be in the flow. I chose to experience every part of life – the joy, the pain, the struggles. I chose not to just experience those things, but I honor the emotion along with it. I chose to accept the emotion, deal with the emotion and then grow from it. Suppressing emotion, ignoring issues, being passive aggressive, and showing up with a smile on your face to avoid the issue, are all things people do when they are not operating in anabolic energy – energy that fuels and causes healing and growth.
If you are at the point where you are stuck in your story. If you feel like life is happening to you, and you have no control over it, hit the button below and let’s chat.