The Worst Year of My Life…and Lessons Learned

My mom and my boyfriend passed away within two years of one another. It was a terrible time for me. I honestly didn’t know what to do.

I decided the answer was to just stay BUSY. Everything could be a distraction.
You hear this advice all the time, right?

• I bought a house.

• I got a second job.

• I helped my brother with his wedding planning.

• I went back to school.

But being just BUSY wasn’t the thing. I needed to focus on what was important to me, what I valued and what was stopping me from being happy and having joy in my life again.

I missed traveling and I was tired of debt.

So, I worked hard and got a second job to get the debt paid off. I started to make travel plans all on my own.

My friends and family were too busy and instead of letting that be a hindrance, I embraced traveling alone and I remember packing an overnight bag and hitting the road. I was off to a weekend in Niagara Falls to a spa…all by myself. I remember sitting in a restaurant in Niagara Falls feeling so very peaceful and accomplished.

I was the only person stopping myself from finding that happy mindset. Sure, my life would be forever changed because I lost people that were so very important to me. But, I hadn’t lost the ability to grow as a person and to experience things and feel joy.

I cut all my hair off and I went to party in Miami. It was my birthday present to myself. I was in shape, and I was feeling great. I ran the boardwalk every morning. I sat on the beach, soaked in the rays and was just present with the sand and the sun.

I went to Jamaica the following year. My first trip out of the country, and I went all by myself. Every morning I woke up, and I decided if I wanted to be social or just be quiet and read. I had such a great time – went zip lining, hiking, and just had the time of my life.

I traveled to Ireland with work and although there was not much downtime, I found time to visit the local coffee shop, sit in the park and listen to a live band. I was completely present, and it was beautiful.

Now, it’s many years later and I have a new love in my life and we travel together often. Just this past year, we’ve gone to Virginia, Atlanta, Myrtle Beach, and we just got back from the Bahamas. Our favorite vacation is the backyard – fire pit nights and our talks are the best!  

The point of all of this is that you can bring joy back into your life, balance back into your life, love back into your life, whatever you are missing. It is there if you want it.

If you need help getting back to a balanced mindset, please contact me and let’s talk.