Fake it Till You Make It or Not?
Have you ever heard someone say “Just Fake it Till You Make It?” I don’t know why, but that always made me feel uncomfortable. I always wondered what else that person faked. Does that mean that they cheat to get thru life? As I became an avid student of balance, I often wondered how this notion of “Fake it till you make it” could work in the business world. So let me put into context what I mean by fake it till you make it——-If you want to be successful in the new job, show up looking the part, dress the part, put on stylish glasses to make you look smarter, always smile and seem inviting, and always be agreeable.
Truth is, nothing is wrong with a stylish makeover. New clothes and a fashion upgrade feel good. Cool glasses are great. You should always want to look your best for you. When you are pretending to be someone else to please other people, that’s when the alarm needs to go off.
About 10 years ago, I got my first corporate role within my company. Of course, I got a snazzy new outfit for the interview, and when I got the job, I changed my entire wardrobe. It is true, I wasn’t in the same industry, so manufacturing plant casual needed to be upgraded to business appropriate. However, if you know me, my style centers on more classic pieces with a hippie or Afrocentric flare. So why did I spend so much money on these black and gray monotone outfits? I don’t even think I liked them. It was just what I saw other people wearing and I needed to fit in….or so I thought.
I was so worried about not being valued by this new team, that I decreased my value by trying to blend. I’m not meant to blend, I’m meant to stand out. The thing is, I have a very diverse business background, combined with my education, I was a powerhouse in my own right. So what, I didn’t have the experience in this particular role, but I had all the skills. Once I stopped worrying about what people thought of me, I learned to be myself. I leaned in and I excelled. Goodbye boring all black and grey clothes, hello me again.
See the thing is, I had to remember that I value myself. I needed to remind myself why I was chosen for this job. It wasn’t pity. I had the skills. The team recruited me. They wanted me for my specific experiences. I didn’t have to blend. My contributions were important…just as important as anyone else’s. I needed to show up as if I had a right to be there, because I had every right to be there and so do you! Your journey is just as important, unique and valuable as anyone else’s.
We often talk crap about ourselves and convince ourselves that because the words on the job posting, don’t match our internal vernacular, we’re not good enough or we’re not capable enough…yet.
Sometimes we fake it, knowing we will be capable, but just are not there yet. A colleague of mine, moved into a new role, and she is a rockstar. She is so resourceful and determined, but she says she fakes it till she makes it. I think it’s more about being resourceful. In this case, she doesn’t want to show that she doesn’t know what’s going on. Instead of saying “I have no idea” She’ll say “Let me find out more, and I’ll circle back to you”. I think this is a great strategy. Some people, like former me, would stress out, having a minor anxiety attack, and apologize if I didn’t have the answer for this one thing that someone pulled out of the sky. Why create all that stress for yourself? If you know you have the resources to find out, find out. Collaboration is key in working with a team, and if you want to live in the balance, be yourself, affirm yourself, show up like you’re meant to be there – because you are absolutely meant to be there, and don’t be afraid to use your network.
Are you tired of Faking it and you’re ready to Live it? Let’s connect.